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Friday, April 13, 2012

INVASION OF THE ITCHY BUGS


By Mystic Psychic Madam Misty Merkel
I just had a terrible vision as I was eating an ice cone really fast.  It started with a horrific headache and then the vision appeared.  The vision was as follows:

You see that as the earth warms up and the glaciers melt then these prehistoric little critters will melt out of the ice.  These creatures live on human skin and as they devour their meals of human skin cells they cause the victim to itch uncontrollably.  In fact, these creatures cause humans to itch so bad that you will literally itch yourself into a mass of unrecognizable slop within just a few hours of having been infected by these itchy bugs.    

Of course most our you would say that the melting poles are a long ways off so how could we be endangered.   Well, I saw in my vision that an Alaskan tuna boat will be overrun by such creatures and will end up drifting with a completely devoured crew.  The tuna boat will eventually be picked up by the government and a pharmaceutical company will discover the itchy but and decide to make some money.  You see this pharmaceutical company makes anti-itch cream so they think that by infecting the world with the itchy bug they can make a lot of money selling creams, ointments and anti-itch narcotics.

Of course the itchy bugs get out of hand and  their itch pheromones evolve quickly to be resistant  to all ointments and creams and the narcotics just make people feel good so that they don’t try to run away as the itchy bugs devour their body.

2012 may not usher in the end of the world but, with things happening like the outbreak of itchy bugs 2012 will be a year long remembered in the regular calendar that we follow here in Northern Michigan.

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