by Mystic Madam Misty (Murky) Merkel
Northern Michigan Psychic
Associate Assistant Contributor
Humor News Nuts
Well I just got home after a week at one of Northern Michigan's mushroom festivals. This particular one is unusual because it is not sponsored by any community but, is one of those word-of-mouth spontaneous deals. It's like a "Room-Rave" party. Anyway, there's lots of dancing, sometimes with music and, all kinds of mushroom products to sample and admire.
This year I sample some mushroom chili and that's pretty much the last thing I remember about the festival. The next morning I found myself on top of a radio tower wearing nothing but my tennis shoes. I'm going to have to contact the spirits to find out where my cloths ended up. The blouse I was wearing I bought at Kmart four years ago and I doubt I'll ever find another one like it now. The price of sequins has skyrocketed in Michigan since then.
Anyway, once I got down off the tower the cops showed up. I would have been arrested for trespassing but, I agreed to let the radio station to use some pictures of me on their radio tower for advertising. I figured it was a win-win situation because the publicity should be good for my psychic business this summer.
Of course, after what I've heard I don't think I'll be going to anymore "Room-Raves." I guess about 50 attendees had to have their stomachs pumped and another 35 are still in comas. According to blogs on the internet the types of mushrooms available at the "Room-Rave" were not the normal ones used in your better eateries. In fact, they were mushrooms that you probably should not consume at all. I for one am against consuming anything that might be bad for my body. That's why I'm gong to end my day with a nice big bottle of wine so I can cleanse myself of any residual poisons from that nasty Michigan mushroom-party.
My prediction for this month is that it will be warmer then last month. I also predict there's going to be a lot of trouble between Michigan's and Canada this summer. Michigan is insisting that the Upper Peninsula is part of Canada and the Canadians insist that the U.P. falls clearly under the responsibility of South Michigan. It's early yet by hopefully this doesn't end up in another curling challenge by the Canadians. Michigan does not do curling, we do lawn jarts: the kind with the nice long spike on the end. In long-spike lawn jarts you have two opportunities to score. Either when you get your jart in the little circle or, if you can tag your opponent. Both score the same.
THE GENETICALLY ENGINEERED SHORT-LEGGED PIG - My pig has short legs by design, A genetically engineered short-legged swine, His legs can't support his great weight, So, like a good mate, He stays home sh...
1 day ago