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Tuesday, June 29, 2010


By Madam Misty

I just got back from visiting my twin sisters Twisty and Christy down in Flint Michigan. We have three sets of twins in my family. I and Twisty are twins, I and Christy are twins and Twisty and Christy are twins. That makes three sets. All three sets of twins are identical (personally I think Christy looks a bit older). We even wear the same bling. I gave each of my sisters a Petoskey stone amulet like the one I have. This way we can stay in touch with each other. All we have to do is rub the amulet and the other twins that are wearing it will be able to read the mind of the twin giving a rub to the Petoskey stone. This will save a lot on long distance calls.

Mike Collin took over my desk while I was away. Unfortunately, he accidentally cracked my crystal ball. Of course he would not have accidentally cracked it if he had not used it for a bowling ball in the parking lot. He did replace it with two half sized crystal balls. The only thing is the balls are filled with water and have a Santa with his sleigh inside and if you shake the balls, it looks like its snowing.

Another problem with the two new balls is that after looking at them for a while and trying to concentrate on contacting the spirit world, my eyes cross. My left eye looks at the crystal ball on the right and my right eye looks at the crystal ball on the left. Maybe my messages from the spirits will be all crossed up too. Today I stared into my balls and saw the Detroit Tigers go all the way this year. Maybe I was actually looking at the past and not the future. Maybe I saw what happened in 1969 and not 2009. Oh dear me.

This afternoon at the company picnic, I think I’ll challenge Mike to a game of lawn jarts. Maybe I can try to get even with Mike for cracking my crystal ball. I don’t intend at aiming for the yellow lawn jart target. Instead, I’m aiming at the fat sack of stupid standing behind it. I bet my last sentence will be edited and will not forcefully express my true feelings.

On this Fourth of July holiday I predict that, the American people will feel a lot better about the second half of this year then they felt about the first half. Especially, those Americans that own private islands near the equator. I’m not going to bang around the bush people; it’s going to be cold the rest of the year. I mean caveman ice age type cold. It’s going to be Canadian Ice Trucker cold. So bundle up and get out the Yachtzi dice along with your bourbon flavored cocoa.

Entertainment wise, the Movie about John Dillinger will be a big hit this summer. It will join Transformers, Star Trek and X-Men remakes as blockbusters this year. Jackson Five and Michael Jackson music will outsell all other music this summer.

For the rest of the year, stocks and bonds are going up and down in price. I don’t own any of that stuff so, I don’t care. But, I would be a buyer of cubic zirconium jewelry on any pull backs in price. In the long run, as people realize they can’t afford real diamonds, cubic zirconium will only go up in price. In addition, the Chicago Board of Trade (CBOT) is going to have some interesting activity in the futures market for January bulk Petoskey stones. Until next time, this is Madam Misty.

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The opinions and ideas expressed on this blog are those of the Psychic and not those of the Humor News Nuts organization.

HNS has a long tradition of associating with persons who have thought processes that are unusual and even weird. We pride ourselves in our diversity of persons with mental irregularities. This diversity allows us to cover stories that no other news organization will investigate let alone, ever put in print.

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HNS Senior Executive Editor-In-Chief

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