PSYCHIC MYSTIC MERKEL ATTENDING ANNUAL NEW YEARS PICKUP DROP

By Psychic Madam Mystic Misty Murky Merkel

Part-time Associate Contributing Writer

HUMOR NEWS NUTS PUBLICATIONS

 Every one has been bugging me about the future. Will the world end? Will we have WW3?  Will WW2 begin? I can answer that one. You can witness WW2 in the movies, pictures, via time travel, or having some of the cheap vino they sell down at the gas station.

People ask me about the Middle East, food and gas prices, elections, sports championships, and how many people will be injured by driver-less cars?  Well, any psychic worth their gingerbread can easily answer all those questions for a couple of bucks, or a signed Chuck Mangione vinyl album.  He plays such a soothing, haunting flugelhorn.  Great for attracting spirits from the other side.

Anyway, I've got my own problems.  Ever since  those two secret government agents showed up at my door, claiming that I was some sort of space alien.  They based their accusation on blood, urine and stool samples I sent in to one of those genealogy places, so I could find out where my family comes from. I've been thinking, maybe I shouldn't have mixed the blood, urine and stool together.  I thought I could save on postage weight if I just sent in one super sample.

Me, my two sisters, and mom and dad, are not from this world. Our DNA, does not compare to any living organism on planet earth, because we don't have any DNA.  

I always knew I was different from the other kids in school, but I never knew why.  I guessed that it might be because mom handmade all our cloths out of old bed sheets and pillow cases.  Mom never had a sewing machine, just a pair of scissors that she used to cut holes, so our little appendages could stick out.

I know mom and dad must know something about our little family got here.  I'll be pressing them on that issue more next year

 I hope 2024 is better than 2023.  I'm a bit excited over the New Year's Eve festivities, here in the trailer park.  Woody is going to show off his forklift skills by lifting a '74 Ford pickup up about twenty feet in the air, and then tilting the forks down as the crowd counts down to midnight. At the stroke of midnight, the pickup will slide off the forks and come crashing down to earth. It will be spectacular. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR