MISTY MERKEL MAKES HER DECEMBER PREDICTIONS

THE MYSTIC PSYCHIC OF MICHIGAN
MAKES HER PREDICTIONS
By Mistress Madam Misty Merkel
December will be a great month for those who are selling stuff. People have had such a rotten year and decade so they want to end it all with a celebration of gifts and parties. No one is going to be crying in their beer when they sing “Auld Lang Zein” on January the first 2010. We need to burry this decade for the ages and take a gallon of kindness to forget it forever.

I predict that congress will spend 10 billion dollars to send a delegation to Japan to find out why President Obama apparently made a bow to the emperor. Of course the congressmen, like all western politicians, will also bend over to the Emperor of Japan. Since Japan surrendered to the West after WWII, all diplomats have bowed to the Emperor. It’s not out of respect but, because the emperor likes to show off his martial arts moves by kicking all western leaders in the groin thus, making them bend over in winching pain which appears to be a bow to uneducated observers. The only problem the Emperor had was when Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher of Great Britain visited Japan. When the emperor kicked her in the groin he ended up with three broken bones in the foot. It seems Margaret Thatcher was not called the “Iron Lady” for no reason.

In December the Israeli-Iranian problem will heat up but, will not be resolved. This is just like the relationships I have had with all my married soul mates and significant others. Woe is me. I need a man for the holidays. I especially need one that is rich. I’ll be so glad when Oprah is off the air. I am so tired of competing with that rich broad.

I predict that the vampire movie will continue to be obsessed by young females in December (women under age 24). I know I’m old fashioned but, when a man bites me and beats me around I call the cops.