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Thursday, February 23, 2012

LEARNING ASTROLOGY IS THE HARDEST THING I’VE EVER DONE


By Mystic Madam Misty Merkel

My astrology classes have not been going very well.  I can’t remember all those zodiac signs let along the meanings of observing how the planets line up.  What does Mars with Mercury rising mean?  What does Jupiter  ascending with two orbs surrounding Uranus possibly mean? And, who even wants to talk about cancer?

What is really depressing me is that the State of Michigan just passed new laws which specify that you need at least a two year degree in metaphysics in order to practice astrology.  That means I’d have to take another 13 courses before I could get my license and start reading people’s astrological signs.  And get this, some of the courses I’d have to take are “Music Appreciation” and “Monomolecular Physics”.  I haven’t had mono since I was a kid and I spent most of my time sleeping it off.  I don’t remember anything else about it.

Well, I’m afraid that this psychic madam is going to have to pass on getting a degree just to practice astrology.  It seems astrology is just based upon the scientific methodology instead of just guessing what‘s going to go on which is what I do.  But, you know what.  When it comes to talking to spooks I still have them all beat.  I doubt that any of those fancy astrologers with their degrees and science will even have the spooks knocking on their trailer doors like I do.  I get visits from important spooks like presidents and movie stars and I get some real lowlifes that steal or some that are just plain stupid.



 

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