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Tuesday, March 16, 2010


By Madam Misty Merkel
Traverse City Psychic/Physic

I spent all day getting my drain unplugged. I used liquid drain Plummer stuff. I unwound an old wire hanger and tried twisting it down the drain. I even brought in the garden hose and tried to blow the clog out with water. Nothing worked. I shouldn’t have poured bacon grease down the kitchen sink last night. This happens every time. Finally, I boiled up a tea kettle full of water and poured it down the drain to melt the bacon grease. It worked too well. The bacon grease went down but, the boiling hot water melted the glue or whatever keeps the pipes under the sink together. Now I have water all over the floor. This just goes to show you that you should get a psychic or physic reading before you start each day. I could have avoided this mess if I had just taken a couple of minutes this morning to look into my own future.

Many of you have been wondering why I use the word Physic and Psychic interchangeably. Some people thought that I just did not know how to spell the word “Psychic”. Let me be clear: a Psychic is someone who uses their special abilities to foretell the future; a physic is someone who uses something from the physical world to help foretell the future. I use Petoskey stones and crystal balls to look into the future. Hence, I am a psychic because I foretell the future with my mental powers and I am a physic because I use objects to aid in my predictions.

Last week I went to a convention of Physics. Most of the people at the convention were demonstrating items that they sold to the public like crystal balls and taro cards. This gave me the idea of selling Petoskey stones to the public. They do have very powerful psychic vibes.

Many people think Petoskey stones are just ancient coral remains that have been fossilized into beautiful patterns. In fact, there is this scientist (he is currently in prison for fraud) who believes that Petoskey stones were really cells to a giant, psychic, alien brain that collided with the earth and killed off the dinosaurs or, something like that. The brain cells were scattered across Upper Michigan.

So watch as the sale of Petoskey stones rise. People across the country are down on their luck and maybe a bunch of polished alien brain cells might just be the thing to turn bad luck into good luck.

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The opinions and ideas expressed on this blog are those of the Psychic and not those of the Humor News Nuts organization.

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