THERE ARE VAMPIRES IN NORTHERN MICHIGAN

By Madam Mysty Merkel
Great Grand Psychic of Michigan
There are vampires in Northern Michigan. I am a psychic and I can detect their presence. They are also psychics but their psychic abilities go beyond reading minds. Vampires have the ability to control minds. That’s what makes them so dangerous. People are just unaware when the power of a vampire comes upon them. The vampire mind twists their very thoughts around so that they become the victims of the nefarious creatures or darkness.

Because of my strong psychic abilities, I am resistant to the powers of vampires. Vampires only have power over the extremely weak minded. That’s why most vampires live near the capital building in Washington D.C. Congressmen are just rich kids but, their daddy’s don’t think they are smart enough to run daddy’s business so daddy buys them a seat in the Congress or if daddy is really rich, the kid gets a set in the Senate..

Of course vampires recognize the way things are run but unfortunately for vampires, because their tissues are technically dead, vampires cannot have children. Hence, vampires have to control the bodies of legislatures whose minds are dead. It is the glorious irony of the ancient gods that the extremely smart vampires cannot have children yet the brain dead of the super elite can propagate continuously as they vote upon what should happen to their fellow human beings who were born to the working caste.

At any rate, there are vampires afoot. They may look gorgeous to the untrained eye but just remember that beautiful beast of a woman you see before you might look 22 years old but she just might be 22 hundred years old.