SPIRITS SAY THE STOCK MARKET IS MAKING LIKE A SUBMARINE AND WILL DIVE, DIVE DIVE!!!

Members of the Council of the Dead (the political arm of those that have passed) came to visit me today. They (the COD) said I should sell all my stocks because the stock market is going to make like a submarine and dive, dive, dive. They said the economy is weak and getting weaker because of silly politicians. They said it had something to do with a debt ceiling. I wish I had a debt ceiling but my debts have long ago gone through any ceiling.

As soon as the council members left I got busy getting rid of my stockings. I guess that’s what they were talking about. It’s hard to understand those in the spiritual world since mostly they just grunt, groan and tap out their messages on pipes and such. Well anyway, I found two pair of stockings but only one stocking did not have a big hole in it.

So, I put a sign out by my driveway which had “Stocks for Sale” written on it. I pup my stockings out on the table but did not sell a single stock. I did sell the card table that the stocks were on for $15.00 so I guess the spirits advice was not so bad after all. I still have my stockings but I also have $15.00. I don’t have a card table anymore but one of the legs on it was broke and underneath I had it duct taped together. I didn’t disclose the duct tape to the buyer. I just hope that the Securities and Exchange people don’t come after me for stock fraud. Maybe I could have sold my stockings if I had washed them first. They certainly don't smell very fresh right now.