by Madam Mystic Misty Murky Merkel,
Psychic Associated Writer
Humor News Nuts of Cheboygan
It has become critical. And criminal as well. When I rinsed out my hair dye half my hair came out with it. I got the recipe for the dye off the internet and I am not amused. I should have known the recipe was bogus when I added that bottle of carpet cleaner.
Now I look like I caught mange from those squirrels I've got hanging around the bird feeder. They are really dumb squirrels too, because I haven't put anything in the bird feeder for at least seven years. I don't think squirrels live seven years. Maybe the squirrels remember stories their grandma told them about the nice yummy corn I'd put out there every winter. Now the legend of the winter corn is just a story told by squirrels.
A trailer park legend passed on down through many generations of squirrels. I wonder if they'll include the part about my tom cat named Tom, who use to hide up in the tree and pounce on the little starving baby squirrels when they tried to fill their chubby little cheeks up with corn kernnels. Who needs cable when you can see that kind of drana unfolding right outside your kitchen trailer window.
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