By Mystic Madam Misty Merkel
I have never been so confused about the future. I’ve tried everything to get a reading on what’s going to happen. I tried drinking a bottle of Mogen David wine and also a bottle of peach schnapps. I went into a both times but when I came too out of my trance I could not remember anything. It was like some sort of blackout.
I realized that my psychic powers were failing me. I even called upon my old friend Dick Nixon. He lives only three floors above the devil so I figured maybe he’d know something. Heaven is set up as a design of chairman Mao with seven floors and a basement. You get to live on the floor you earned in life or get punished by being sent to the basement. Dick told me that the basement was where all the laundry was done so it was a hideous and horrible place to visit just a like a laundry is here on earth. Of course on the top floor (7th Heaven) all the good souls reside like Nixon’s wife Pat and their dog Checkers.
Well, I just can’t give anyone any predictions today. Something bad is about to happen I’m afraid and the evil spirits have overwhelmed my good spirits (Mogen David Wine and Peach Schnapps). Maybe I’ll get my extra sight back during the Mesick Mushroom Festival which is coming up soon>
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