Psychic Madam Misty Murky Merkel
Associate Contributing Part-time Author, And Resident Psychic
Humor News Nuts Worldwide Online Publications
It's time again for my predictions of events that will take place in and around, 2025.
I'm doing my predictions a bit earlier this year, because I am going to be traveling in space and time hunting down the owner of this publication. Why am I hunting for this person? Well, according to two sources from the other side (Richard Nixon and Henry KissingeneedThe owner of HNNWOP, is going to do something years in the past and/or future, that will bring about the end of the world. I've enlisted an alien rat who, sometimes contributes anonymously, articles to HNNWOP. The rat is really smart, and he has a time machine, so no fears for the future folks. We will save the world, eventually, maybe?
In addition to the possible end of all things, I have two more predictions that will no doubt, affect almost everyone. The first one is that inflation will hit the world hard next hear so make sure you stock up on items you need. I see in particular, the hoarding of toilet paper and canned peas going on, which will drive up the price of those two necessary products. For some strange reason, two-ply tp will be especially overrun by price spikes. Of course, the price of pea going up.is just a given. Peas are the most popular of the canned vegetables. Peas taste a whole lot better than green beans, and corn, well, as most people know, you never really absorb any nutrition from a corn kernel, because you really just borrow it to.make your tummy feel full for a few hours.
One future event you won't hear from anyone else, is that the U.S. will finally get around to invading Canada. All those natural resources lying within the Canadian borders, have been lusted after by Americans for many years. We Americans admire persons, and aspire to be a people who grab things. Things that are clearly not ours, we just grab. Those resources are ours for the grabbing. It will be a peaceful takeover, except instead of using weapons to drive back U.S. forces, Canadians will all dust off their secretly hidden bagpipes, and will wail out "Unchanged Melody" across the cities, mountains, fields, forests and fisheries of Canada. The yanks will be overwhelmed by the onslaught of the Canadian wind bags, and run back across the border, forgetting about all the natural resources hidden beneath the pristine beauty.
Well, those are my major predictions for 2025. I'm doing them early, because I may not be around much. No, I'm not going back to jail, again. There are a couple of old arrests warrants out there, but I gave the sheriff the slip the last two times they came calling. Last time, they did have their guns drawn, but I think they saw an unfriendly creature, like a rabid squirrel, lurking about in the shadows, and it was after dark. Could have been Peeping Paul, our area window peepster. He's real creepy, and lives alone with his python snake. He would be a complete social outcast, but he makes the most delicious stuffed peppers, so he gets invited to all the local potlucks. Everyone wants to know what the secret sauce is, that uniquely flavors his yummy peppers.
So, Happy 2025
Misty Merkel
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