Madam Misty Psychic Murky Merkle
Associate Contributor
Humor News Nuts Online Publications
It's a brand new year. I hope my readers and most of the people I know, are doing well.
Obviously, I and my family survived the destruction of planet earth at the end of 2025. We were able to get back to the invisible floating mountain that my parents emigrated from. Some intelligence inside the mountain activated a universe jumping mechanism, which sent us to this parallel world. After disposing of our native selves (our doubles in this universe), we assumed their lives, and I, my parents and two sisters have assimilated to this world, quite well.
There is all kinds of economic and political turmoil in this world, but at least it was not destroyed by some fireball caused by a colliding comet.
Anyway, I do have predictions for this world. In 2026, "6,7" will fall off the popularity charts, and be replaced by the phrase "chub rub". I have no idea what" chub rub", means, but the spirits were laughing like crazy, when they gave me that news.
In politics, Trump will live through 2026, although many people say, Trump has poor health. Canada will remain a sovereign state through 2026. That's what my Petoskey stones are predicting.
In sports, the Detroit tigers will win more games than they loose.
In Science news, my crystal balls predict the genetic discovery that humans have more toad DNA than monkey DNA. Again, this is the prediction I get when I stare into my crystal balls. I have two crystal balls, A little one and a big one. The big one has a crack in it, but it still functions.
I predict 2026 will be a year full of both werewolf and vampire activity. I think everyone should take precautions when dating someone new. Silver bullets and sharp stakes are excellent things to take on a first date in 2026. I'm sure you can learn how to use said items on YouTube.
Well, I've got to go.
Happy New Year
Mystic Madam Misty Murky Merkel
