CELEBRITY PREDICTIONS

PHYSIC REVELATIONS
By Madam Misty
I predict that I’m either going to get paid or I’m going to quit pretty soon. Every payday they tell me that I’m not getting a paycheck because “I got my entire check garnished for parking tickets,” First of all, I live two doors down and don’t ever drive my car so how am I supposed to get these tickets?

The recent fight between funny man Jon Stewart and stock guru Jim Kramer will end soon. I’m going to predict that stock guru Jim Kramer will depart from his show “Mad Money” and star in a comedy movie based on the old sit-com “Mad About You,” with "The Queen Of Mean" Lisa Lampanelli as his co-star.

I predict that Tiger Woods and John Edwards will be co-starring in a new made for TV SyFy movie called "Snakes In The Grass". The movie is about a golf pro and his politician buddy who both cheat on their wives while battling giant poisonous snakes let loose on a golf course by a government, mad scientist.

Jon Stewart will leave his job as the host of “The Daily Show,” and join Larry the Cable Guy and the ghost of the late Rev.Jerry Fallwell on a revivalist crusade through the Deep South. The country trailer park tours will last 6-10 weeks depending on whether the tornadoes get to the trailer parks ahead of them this summer. Tornadoes turn trailer parks into parks and trails; trails of cars, tin cans and beer bottles.