The Northern Michigan Trailer Park Psychic
Today my good friend President Nixon stopped by the trailer to wish me a happy Memorial Day Holiday. He said there was going to be a really big celebration on the other side and that if I happened to get killed in a car wreck or something this weekend, I would be invited. I thanked him for the invitation but told him I had to decline on the grounds that I had other plans. My other plans of course were related to not being killed in a "car wreck or something" this weekend. I just hope he wasn't so offended that I never get invited to anything again. Some spirits are like that you know, vengeful. Ending up on some spooks enemies list is really the last thing I want to do.
I'm still a little creeped out over the invite so I've decided not to go anywhere this weekend. I'll just hang out here in the trailer park and watch Teddy set off some of his homemade dynamite out in the street. Last year he set the dynamite off too close to his trailer and blew- up his back bedroom. He lost six chickens and a pig which he kept housed in that back bedroom. No one cared about those nasty loud chickens he had but I was kind of fond of that pig. I did get a nice slab of back bacon that came slamming though my screen door. I probably should have gave the back bacon back to Teddy but, “finders keepers” as they say. Besides, I had to replace the piece of plastic in my screen door window and it cost me a small fortune for the duct tape. Of course, I duct-taped that piece of plastic in my screen door real good so even a cannon ball will bounce back off of it. (Teddy fires off his cannon on the Fourth of July).
Well, as I said I'm going to stay put this weekend right here at the trailer park. Now my prediction for next month is that an asteroid is going to hit somewhere. My mind was a little fuzzy when I was in my last trance so it might not quite be an asteroid hitting somewhere. It could be an asterisk being misplaced somewhere. It could also be an aster being picked somewhere. Like I said things have been really fuzzy around here. It started when that trailer down the street that had all those young guys living in it, blew-up. There was this terrible haze and an awful bathroom chemical smell. Then, a lot of people in astronaut suits showed up and took the young guys away in a bunch of police cars. I don't remember much after that. That's about the time things got fuzzy.