WHAT'S UP IN 2022
By HNN Psychic, Madam Mystic Misty Murky Merkel
If you're reading this now then you made it to 2022. Good For you. Now get a grip, because 2022 is going to be a big pile of Bigfoot poop and it will really stink.
You might be asking where I've been. Well, I've been in prison since Donald Trump was elected. I predicted he'd win. You'd think he'd appreciate that and overlook my prediction that he'd loose the next time around. But I went to prison anyway on a trumped up charge of being a heretic. It seems years ago The Michigan legislature passed a law that if you don't believe the earth is flat, you get sent to prison. There's no death sentences in Michigan however, heretics can be sentenced to life in prison with a rope around their neck and left dangling from a prison light fixture. Luckily, I recanted and said the earh is flat as a board and "the sun, stars and planets revolved around the earth," I added.
After my sucking up to the powers that be in the judge, I got sentenced to 4 years of counseling work at the judges privately owned conversion therapy camp for girls over forty. I've been married seven times, so the judge thought I could talk up the bliss of marriage between men and women. Problem is, I was always drinking and have no memories of any "bliss." I only remember blackouts, and later regrets that I had ever met any of the sons-of-guns.
Getting back to the end of the world,๐ I mean my predictions for 2022, the weather will be warmer this year in Northern Michigan.๐
The price of wine will keep going higher, forcing me to make my own out of leftover produce.๐ค
There will be a war between the two oldest vampires, sister and brother, which will split the vampires into two groups: one group will want to exterminate all of humanity and the other just wants to continue to control humanity through coercion by manipulating the stock, energy, real estate and commodities markets. I don't know what any of that means. I'm a psychic, not Google Search. I just repeat what I'm told by the spirits๐ป
My young colleague at HNS, Mike Colin, will be recruited by the tyrant vampires and tasked, along with his new little vampire boyfriend, to stop the killer vampires. And, from what the spirits are telling me, because neither of these boys has both oars in the water, things will not end well. Again, I'm just reporting what the spirits said. I can personally testify that Mike Colin is as smart as anyone at HNN and he has his scat๐ฉ together as much as I do.
I do see the end of the world approaching fast and furious.๐ It's kind of murky on the date it will end but it will end for all life forms on planet earth.๐
The end will begin when two fellas show up asking around to see if anyone on the planet earth is truly good. These two fellas are on a mission, sent by a higher power to find just one good person. It seems that if there be such a person, the entire planet and all its life forms, would be saved. Well, they travel far an wide and find no one until they meet Tim Colin, editor and business manager ร at HNN. After that, it's no longer a matter of if, but a matter of how the earth is destroyed.
Of course, the spirits are confusing me once again by telling me the earth will be destroyed, and also saved. Again, I'm just a messenger. I'm not Google Search, so don't spam me, troll me, or bot me.
Well, have a good year, good life and good day.
PMMMM
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