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Wednesday, September 15, 2010


By Mystic Madam Misty Merkel
I just got back here from Becky Newman’s trailer. Boy is that place a dump. Becky is one of the filthiest people I have even known in my life. I would not have stepped foot into her pig sty except I wanted to check on her after the horrible ordeal this trailer park went through last week. Becky was at the center of the whole situation and it was caused because of the way she decided to deal with visitors she was having during the night. She is still my neighbor so I felt I had to look out for her even though she caused herself and everyone else in the trailer park a lot of problems.

I really found out just how unclean Becky’s house was a few months ago when I was invited over for one of those jewelry home sales parties. I love home shopping parties. Sometimes you can buy some really good bling there. Now, I have already said that Becky’s place was a pig sty but, I don’t even think any self-respecting pig would live in those filthy conditions. I know I am not perfect and from time to time let the dishes stack up in the sink and let a bit of dust build up on the furniture. Becky and I are both working girls so, I think it is justified that we don’t always keep things neat and tidy however, Becky was well beyond being a bit lazy or sloppy. She had dishes with half eaten food stuck to her furniture. She had encrusted silverware all over the floor, garbage bags stacked and leaking stuff all the way down the hallway and I don’t even want to mention her sink, stove or, the thing that was growing in her refrigerator. I am no doctor but, I think that the thing growing in her refrigerator was about to either give birth or go to seed. It growled and barred its fangs when I opened the door so I never got a really good look at it.

I did not eat anything at her party but, I did buy a nice bracelet for just $15.00. It was quite a bit of money but, a person has to splurge on themselves once in a while. After the party I didn’t hear from Becky for several weeks. I was beginning to wonder if she turned my money in for my bracelet. I hate to say it but, sometimes people are a bit forgetful once they have your cash from one of those parties. Finally, Becky showed up on my doorstep one day all upset about some spirits that were haunting her at night. She said she needed my psychic help and I asked her if she had heard anything about the bracelet I ordered. She told me she would check on it but, she desperately needed my help right away. I invited her in for some coffee so she could explain what was going on at her trailer. I didn’t want to go to her place for coffee because coffee is dark and you can’t always see what might be floating in it.

The ordeal started when Becky started to notice that some of her dishes that had encrusted food on them were miraculously self-cleaning overnight. Becky would come out of her bedroom in the morning expecting to see the same dishes full of gunk sitting around that had been sitting around for days, weeks, months and, even years. Instead, the dishes were shinny clean. In addition to the dishes being clean, her counters were getting cleaned up as well. She even could discern the original color of her sink and countertops. Becky was overwhelmed with both surprise at the work that was getting done and also with a since of gratitude for whoever was helping her out. It was like some kindly elves were coming in the middle of the night and cleaning up her house for her.

One night Becky left out some nice frosted cookies she had purchased at Dobermans Bakery. That bakery has the best cookies. There is so much frosting on their cookies that you can’t even taste the cookie dough underneath it. Anyway, Becky left the cookies out for her friends who were cleaning up her trailer for her hat night. At midnight Becky heard someone munching away on the cookies so she decided to pop out of her bedroom. Before Becky could turn the lights on she saw two big red eyes starring back at her. Becky assumed it was the devil so she screamed and ran out of her trailer. Once outside she waited until it started to get light out before she started beating on my door.


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The opinions and ideas expressed on this blog are those of the Psychic and not those of the Humor News Nuts organization.

HNS has a long tradition of associating with persons who have thought processes that are unusual and even weird. We pride ourselves in our diversity of persons with mental irregularities. This diversity allows us to cover stories that no other news organization will investigate let alone, ever put in print.

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