MYSTIC MADAME MISTY MERKEL AND AND HER LOYAL READER

By Mystic Madame Misty Merkel
The Northern Michigan Trailer Park Psychic

What are they putting in shampoo now days.  I washed my hair this afternoon and my hair was so greasy I thought it was full of motor oil.  Maybe I picked up the wrong stuff at the store.  I bought my shampoo at the gas station this morning when I walked down there to pick up a bottle of wine.  I shop there for most of my stuff since the gas station is just at the end of the trailer park.

Well anyway, I had to use laundry soap to get the grease out of my hair.  Now I've got a bad case of the frizzies.  I just hope that if any apparitions decide to communicate with me I won't scare them off.  It's hard to make a living getting information from the dead when your appearance scares them permanently back over to the otherside.  

Right now the wine I bought is beginning to kick-in so I should be going into a psychic trance anytime now.  I'm trying to find out what is going to happen next month so I can report it to my loyal readers:  Penny, Mary and Sam.    Penny is my neighbor down the street.  Mary and Sam are her two cats.  Penny is a really nice elderly lady.   Mary is a really nice cat but Sam is bipolar.  Sam will be all lovey-dovey then all of a sudden he'll bite you.  Everyone in the trailer park has had to get a tetanus shot because of that cat.  We all still put up with Sam because he is a really good mouser.  Sometimes he'll even get one of those big rats that hangs out at the gas station.

Well, I've got to get going into my trance.  Jimmy Stewart has some insider Hollywood gossip he wants to share with me.   I'm not too excited about it though.  He probably just wants to tell me about some actor forgetting their lines because they were out drinking the night before.