HE'S BACK: MYSTIC MADAM MISTY MERKEL'S PREDICTIONS FOR OCTOBER

Predictions For October
by Psychic Mystic Madam Misty Merkel
Psychic Humor News Nuts Associate Writer

He's back.  The former manager of my trailer park was released from prison and now he's back managing the park.  I had hoped he would not be hired back but, since his dad owns the park the former park boss was instantly reinstated to his former position.

Now, the first thing this guy does after getting out of prison is stuff a note in everyone's mailbox instructing us to pay him our lot rent in change.  It seems he believes that the new currency that the government issues has fibers woven into it that affect his brain waves.  I always heard that it was his parents experiments with chemicals back in the 70's that caused our park manager to exhibit strange behavior.  I guess what I heard must be wrong.

Of course the reason our trailer park manager went to prison in the first place was because of his hatred of the government.  It seems he became really upset that wherever there was some highway construction going on the government would put out safety cones to direct people where to drive.  My park manager of course didn't like the government telling him where he could drive his pickup so he set about stealing safety cones from every highway construction site in Northern Michigan.  After several accidents, the state police became very interested in finding the safety-cone thief and since my trailer park manager had thousands of cones stacked in his yard, he was very  easy to find.

Now, a lot of you might think that people would be leaving my trailer park with the greatest of haste however, the lot rent in my park is only $55 per month and that is the cheapest rent in all of Northern Michigan.  I just wish that there was garbage pickup but, there are two empty lots on the backside of the park where we all dump our garbage.  The lots are near a river so they flood every spring and that's why they remain empty of trailers.  The good thing about the flooding is that every spring when those lots flood the rapid high waters wash all the garbage down river so, the lots are then cleared off for another year of garbage dumping by the trailer park residents.   It is like an annual toilet flush and it's just one of those ways that a community can come together to have a recycling program for mother earth.   It makes everyone in the trailer park feel that we are doing our job as custodians of the environment

Well, now that October has begun I predict the leaves will soon start to change colors.  I also predict that the new flu virus shots will cause people with natural red hair to become constipated at least three times during this month and by the way, the stock market falls with the temperatures.