By Psychic Mystic Madam Misty Murky Merkel
Yesterday I asked my Petoskey stones "who is
going to be the next president of the United States?" After I asked my stones the question I lit
some incense I bought from a local Michigan Incense Dispensary and drank a bottle of
wine while I waited for the spirits of the stones to answer my question. It took about an hour then, suddenly, I fell
into a deep trance and had a vision.
Now, in my vision I pictured a large St Bernard
crossing a river called the Rubicon.
And, after the St. Bernard crossed this river he got into an expensive American
Motors sports car called a Matador and sped up a very large, steep hill.
About halfway up this hill the St. Bernard put his car on cruise
control and then the big old dog started barking "Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump..." until finally, the St. Bernard swerved off the
side of the road and went crashing down toward the bottom of the hill and all the
while the dog was still barking "Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump...".
Then, I woke up from my trance and found myself
lying on my back on top of my trailer looking up a sky full of stars. Now, all this would have been strange enough
except that this little chipmunk hopped up on top of my foot and then ran all
the way up my body to my nose where he stopped and looked me straight in the
eye and asked, "Do you have any more of that incense? I and my friends have been watching you for
the last four hours and we'd kind of like to join your party. The squirrels offered us some rotten old
decomposed acorns to burn for incense but, the acorn incense just gives us headaches and make
our noses run."
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